Best of Bad Job Bingo: Fun Edition

As Director, Technical Support, you will lead a group of skilled technical support specialists and engineers, who provide exceptional technical support to our Global Bonterra Support clients[..]. — I genuinely appreciate their framing here, that you'll be leading folks who are already providing great support. It's really refreshing.

Willing to learn, adapt, and evolve with a growing team and evolving company. — NARY A MENTION of "fast-paced, dynamic environment" my god I didn't think it was possible.

Strong problem-solving skills with technical agility and creativity. — They describe what they want instead of just slapping "critical-thinker" in a sentence and calling it a day! My crops are flourishing, my skin is clear, my bagels are perfectly toasted, tikkun olam everybody.

Who wrote this job description and where can I send an entire assortment of their favorite treats?

Job application is through Workday AND I DON'T EVEN CARE.

Overall, I like this company's approach to job descriptions. Of the few I've read, all were carefully and thoughtfully written, focusing on the skills and qualities needed for a candidate to be successful without being obnoxious. I wish they'd include an actual salary range (and omit the "fun office" bit so many orgs seem to think is a draw – it's not! our homes are more fun, I assure you!), but then that's why we have this category.

Seems like a pretty straightforward onboarding role, with the usual startup suspects ("fun" team, fast-paced environment, adapt to change/challenges, let's do the time warp again).

Nothing too concerning, and the pay is good for an early-career gig.

Again, the duties seem pretty standard for this role, but I'm noticing a pattern in Trust & Safety roles not being properly leveled for the work they're expected to do and the influence they're expected to have.

I don't know how Patreon's divisions are structured; maybe they're all just Managers, but my experience in tech makes me think that's unlikely.

Team player and a fast learner with a creative, empathetic, and fun attitude. – Can we not? Can we just not require a T&S professional to have a "fun" attitude, especially when you haven't given any space to explaining how you'll care for their mental well-being? Ugh.

Honestly, that pisses me off enough to put this into Tread Carefully.

We build products that accelerate software development, and we could use your help. — Okay, I appreciate this humble beginning, which is somewhat unusual for a dev-focused software company.

Oh, that's-that's it. Okay.

Another somewhat unusual thing: the salary for this founding role is on par with the Full Stack Engineer role the company also has open. I could (and probably will later) make an argument that a founding Support Engineer is more in line with a Senior Engineer role and thus should be compensated as such, but I do think Mintlify should get credit for two things:

and setting a positive precedent for the rest of the team to follow. — So this is also unusual and interesting – it sounds like maybe the rest of the team is either reluctant to or inexperienced in providing direct support to customers, and they want this hire to build a customer-first culture. I like that they value it and are upfront about it!

Your work will bring us toward industry-leading response times and service levels, while building our internal customer feedback operations in an increasingly intricate space. You will play an integral role in building knowledge within the team and be part of strategic initiatives for organizational and process improvements. You will be crucial to the success of building a innovative, disruptive, and high-scale product. — This all makes total sense for a role like this, but it also means this should have a more senior title (and thus be compensated more appropriately). This is essentially a Director role with engineer duties, and right now, the salary is only compensating for one of those things.

Located in (or will relocate to) San Francisco and excited about working in-person — Oof, yeah, $130k-$160k isn't going to cut it for an in-person Director-level role in the Bay area, my friends. As the Bad Job Bingo Board of Directors pointed out, if they'd share more about their compensation policy or acknowledge that this is what they can afford at an early stage, I think this wouldn't be such a big deal, but they don't.

I like their values statements, although this one gives me pause:

The unlimited free mints bit in the Benefits section made me laugh. I guess I have to make a new rule: if the benefit is so obviously ridiculous and jokey that a reasonable person wouldn't consider it a real benefit, it gets a pass in BJB.

This company might overtake the last winner for whitest company I've seen.

From the Careers page: We are Humbly Hungry, We are Courageously Authentic, We Challenge Limiting Beliefs, We Keep our Eye on the Ball, Hand in the Dirt and we do all of this TOGETHER, as a team, and we have fun doing it! – No, not sports metaphors! (Or the fun. Or the creative capitalization.)

Incredible Culture with ridiculously high eNPS scores + Glassdoor reviews! Super Fun Quarterly Events – Oh my god stop THESE ARE NOT BENEFITS

From the JD: Proven ability to quickly earn the trust of key stakeholders; mobilize and motivate teams; set direction and approach; resolve conflict; deliver tough messages with diplomacy; execute with limited information and ambiguity – Some of this is fine and some of this makes me go HMM, guess which ones are which

Customer-oriented and calm in the face of challenge – HMM.

Every time they talk about how fun they are, another venture capitalist gets a little red flag pocket square.

Awesome culture! Awesome coworkers! (seriously, have you seen Glassdoor?)

With the mortgage and tech industries being highly male-dominated, we're proud to be a tech company in the mortgage space with ~40% female employees across the organization. – What a weird and blatantly suspicious stat to brag about, considering this means the company isn't even keeping up with population demographics (women make up over 50% of the U.S. population and nearly 59% of the civilian labor force). And if they had an unusually high number of women in leadership or engineering, you know they'd say so. But stay Humbly Hungry, Homebot!

Geez, this might be the longest review I've ever written. I'm gonna wrap this up succinctly: BINGO. (Steph’s note from 2026: AHAHAHA. Look at this sweet summer child.)

Our curious, creative team is dedicated to un-complicating procurement so companies can innovate faster and change the world. — Welp, a red flag right up front. What a way to dive back into Bad Job Bingo!

Our aim is to find brightness and joy in every project and build from that place. We are serious about our fun and bring joy to finance and procurement experiences that truly stand out. — Because when I think finance and procurement, fun is my next thought.

The Benefits list is at least actually mostly benefits, but I do wonder at the order they put these in – for instance, Start-up equity comes before Health, vision, & dental coverage. The Careers page is otherwise mostly fine, if not standard, mildly informative corporate fare.

B2B SaaS experience in a high-paced environment is a benefit. — What does a high-paced environment mean to you, Zip? If you want the experience, you should be able to articulate what that experience should look like.

Creative problem solver while being attentive to details — You mean like consistently and properly constructing and punctuating sentences?

Proactive team player that is able to identify process gaps and willing to jump in and help wherever needed (company, team, self mentality) — Ehhhh. I know it's a startup, but...ehhhh.

Experience working in a top tier consulting firm or have an MBA — Even in a nice-to-haves, this makes me sigh heavily. Why? Why do you want this experience? Because otherwise it's just unnecessary. (Also, not for nothing, but why do they never consider that someone who's been at a top-tier consulting firm or has an MBA is likely not going to want a CX salary for wear-all-hats work with no clear advancement path? I always wonder what people are thinking when they write stuff like this.)

The salary range for this role is $100,000-$140,000 OTE. — For a commission-based on-site/hybrid role wanting 5+ years of experience in NYC and San Francisco, this is pretty low. How are they planning on these folks actually living in these localities? (And the role listed in Toronto doesn't list salary at all.)

This sounds like your run-of-the-mill startup trying to figure out its voice, but given the kind of flags we're seeing, plus the inadequate compensation and the fact that I'm not feeling particularly charitable today, I'm giving this a BINGO.

When you join our team, you become part of a community that works together to innovate, solve problems, grow, work hard and have a ton of fun in the process. — At least it's not "work hard, play hard." But...sigh.

Grubhub’s purpose is to connect diners and restaurants. To achieve this, we strive to create a workplace that reflects the diversity of our customers and the communities we serve. When you join our team, you become part of a values-driven community that works together to innovate, solve problems, take risks, grow, work hard and have a ton of fun in the process. — Didn't...didn't we just do this?

Perks at Grubhub — <stares in Steph>

Grublife - Our Culture Crew connects people through special events, volunteering opportunities and wellness activities. Some of our popular events include: Mindfulness break sessions, virtual workout classes, Bring your Child to Work Day, regular happy hours, and much, much more! — This is the first thing in the list of "perks." "Meal perks & Grubhub+ Subscription" is second. Benefits are fourth.

So that's Grubhub's Careers page. Not an awesome showing!

Application is on Workday. My condolences.

One of our core values is We are Done When Everyone's Eating. — Keep your fetishes to yourselves, my dudes.

When we solve a problem, we solve it end to end. — <snickers> Sorry, sorry.

For this exciting and meaningful role we are looking for a data-driven leader who moves fast and gets things done. — Oh, will the pay be exciting and meaningful?

Able to manage multiple projects simultaneously and thrive in a dynamic environment — Sure, had to fit those red flags in somewhere.

Our hybrid model requires 3 days a week in the office. That said, many team members choose to come in more often to take advantage of in-person collaboration and connection. You're welcome—and encouraged—to be in the office up to 5 days a week if it works for you. — THEN IT'S NOT HYBRID, IS IT GRUBHUB

Colorado: $32.45/hr — Pitiful. I see they only care that you're eating at work. Go home to your family and be hungry, I guess.

Hilariously, UnitQ seems to have checked out on their Careers page almost immediately, basically repeating a values statement because they couldn't be assed to come up with a way to restate "we love nerding out."

We're a fast-growing company with the stability and funding to offer top-tier perks! — Scream it with me: BEEEEEEEENEFITS AAAAAAAARE NOOOOOOOOOT PEEEEEEEEERKS

and last but not least— a fun and creative working environment. — Oh, of course. Can't forget all the fun you're having (but you can forget a fourth values statement!)

Our mission is to help companies of all sizes deliver exceptional product experiences, optimize operational efficiency, and drive sustainable growth through continuous product quality improvement. — Okay, the Careers page may be very basic bitch, but after all the lofty mission statements we've already seen, I appreciate the grounded nature of this one.

Act as an escalation point for all inbound cases from our clients, as well as the Customer Success team. Monitor a set of customer accounts for breaks in activity and provide proactive outreach to troubleshoot data issues. — Depending on UnitQ's volume, this could be fine, or it could be a dumpster fire.

If not for the above and the inadvertently funny Careers page, this would be a pretty straightforward role. Sadly, those things do exist, plus there's no pay transparency, and they ask for salary expectations in the application, so BINGO it is.

This has been bookmarked since before I broke myself, so I'm going to out on a limb and say it's a ghost job or the turnover is awful. Also, they do not actually say where they hire, so I'm just assuming the USA.

On the Careers page: At Promenade, individuals come together and commit to the values that drive innovation, change, and success for small businesses. Here, you’ll do much more than join us; you’ll add to us. — As a intro statement, it doesn't suck.

Their Careers page brags about being a great place to work, so you know what's next: to Glassdoor!

Our vision is to create economic opportunity for every professional in the world, and that starts with our own employees. — I have a bad feeling about this.

Okay, in the job description! Totally not bracing myself. Totally.

As a Customer Service Team Lead, you will play a pivotal role in ensuring our customers receive exceptional support and fostering strong relationships within our team. You will accomplish this by developing world-class B2B partnerships, adhering to industry best practices, and fostering unbeatable customer satisfaction. — Is it just me, or is that thing about adhering to industry best practice just a weird thing to say?

This role is best suited for someone who is passionate, empathetic, driven, and loves solving complex problems with grace and gusto. — Okay…

We are looking for someone who is outgoing, detail-oriented, works efficiently under pressure, and has an incredible knack for remaining calm and positive in all situations. — Ahh, there it is.

In the 'What's in it for you' section: "Great Medical/Dental/Vision coverage" – Friends. Countrymen. 'Great' is not a metric. If it was great, they'd tell us what the coverage actually is.

Fully stocked snack bar & weekly catered lunches. The company provided gear & swag (MacBook Pro, t-shirt, sunglasses, etc.) — I love that they detail what swag you get and not the benefits.

Work in a fast-paced, fun environment with an eclectic group of people from all over the world — A fun environment in which you have to remain calm and positive in all situations? Sure, that checks out.

Friendly, optimistic, and have a caring demeanor. Adept at working well under pressure and with tight deadlines — Okay, so this place is the 9th circle of hell, right? (The 8th circle being LinkedIn, of course).

$23 - $25 an hour — omg wut

Wait wait it's not EVEN $25hr! (in tiny print): $23/hr with $10k annual bonus, paid quarterly — That is, at most, $58,840. To work in a horror movie.

Have you ever managed a book of business? — And why is this a question on an application for a Customer Service Team Lead???

Y'all want to guess how many entries it hit in BJB?

Why join Promenade? If you want a front-row seat in seeing a company disrupt a massive industry — Unless I'm a founder, I don't want a front-row seat. I prefer not to be a crash test dummy, thank you very much.

(It was 15.)

There are so many red flags in this one I can’t cover them all, but here are some of the big ones: